The Scared Feminine

Although I agree with some of the criticisms levelled at Da Vinci Code*, the best-selling fiction and movie, I would applaud it as a creative work that dared to deride the 'unnaturalness' of the notion of priesthood as practised in Roman Catholicism and to celebrate the uterus as the vessel of life, i.e. the chalise, the Holy Grail (Hail to the Vulva!)
And I am so enamoured by the charm of Audrey Tautou as Sophie Nuveu, the contemporary symbol of the "scared feminine" - intelligent, fearless (kick-ass), decisive, tireless, yet vulnerable and sweet. As for Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon, really fancy the deadpan expression, the poker face, the wit and the thirst for truth and knowledge.
*(that it's blasphemous to imply that Jesus had married Mary Magdalen and had an offspring, and several factual discrepancies, etc.)
In Venus in Sackcloth: The Magdalen's Origins and Metamorphosis, 1975, Marjorie Malvern argued that Mary Magdalen is akin to ancient female fertility figures and regenerative goddesses such as Isis, Venus, Eve, Psyche, and Pandora. Wished I had pursued my research interests in semiotics!
In the midst of reading Kurt Cobain's bio - really moved by the tragic outcome of self-hate, self-doubt and fear.

Sampai Kapan atau Sampai Dikapankan?

Happy Mother's Day!
Yet how come most of the Asian mothers, especially the ones led by energetic young children, who were treated at VS by their offspring or significant other looked so jaded about the annual celebration? Voted Happiest Mom - Western wife holding hands with equally happy husband. Here we go again, breakfast in bed, but Granma will be under the bed hiding from the 'treat' ... (Gramps cartoon strip)
Horror-scope!
Sunday, May 14:
Traveling light is the only way to embark on an adventure -- especially one that involves romance. So don't just keep that weekend bag light -- try leaving behind any emotional baggage too.
Monday, May 15:
Sometimes the only step to take is forward, no matter how scary it seems. If you're so afraid of being wrong, you'll never be able to figure out what's actually right. It's time to move ahead. Now.
Quote of the Day
"I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody."– Lily Tomlin

A Bridge Too Near

Whatever the reasons may be for Tun M to want the building of the "scenic" or "crooked" bridge (depending on whose perspective) to proceed, the Causeway will always hold fond (and poignant) memories of my childhood train trips to my grandparents' home in Klang, my father's (finally aborted) paddy fields in Kahang, the family's Hijrah to KL, Abang Hatta's post-funeral, etc. And the Keretapi Tanah Melayu (KTM), too, for adolescent trips with Yat to Batu Gajah, trysts (with and without Yat) to Penang to meet AI, and one of my final holidays with my late mother to Kuala Perlis/Langkawi.
To be continued ...
On a different level, the tension between Malaysia and Singapore demonstrates the need for effective negotiation skills on M'sia's part. I wholeheartedly agree that Malaysian leaders should be more assertive when dealing with her neighbours. Here's food for thought - taken from P Gunasegaran, That Bridge, The Edge, 01/05/06:
"We need to look forward, not back, a looking forward means setting some key, thorny bilateral issues we have with Singapore. That means talks. Does anybody doubts that talks will be resumed some time? No! It's a question of when really."
Wither Double Trekking?

The 20% Woman

It's been exactly three years since the historic carpark incident (there may be other carpark incidents that I don't wish to disclose here, hehe), and more than a year since the ASC episode, etc, etc, ad nauseum. Will I ever move from virtual to real space? Tired of being in my little box, making the wrong moves at the right time, or right moves at the wrong time ...
Felt much like the monotonous routine in Life of Pi by Yann Martel - a castaway with only a Bengal Tiger for company, only my tom cat is still not found ...
Like Pi too, Iz and I just couldn't get over Spike leaving us unceremoniously that fine morning after we brought him to our new place ...

The 80% Man

Just as men seek the Ideal Woman, women too look for the Perfect Man (the 200% Man?) that we tend to put our 'Idol' on a pedestal, hoping that he or she would love us 'warts and all' and save themselves for us while we sow our wild oats/eggs.
I have however learned not put anyone on a pedestal anymore, having been disenchanted, disillusioned and dissapointed too many times before - expected to love unconditionally while being loved conditionally (there's no gender equity in love, only double standards!)
Too often I expected a man to be a saint, then I'm let down again by the fact that their libidos and vindictiveness almost always prevail over their sensibilities, that they would rather cut their nose to spite their face rather than 'lose face' i.e. abstain (which surprise, surprise is often abetted by none other than other females, who had internalised the pecking order or knowing which side your bread is buttered).
The point is since most men are more or less the same (just a matter of degree in terms of being perverse, immature, obnoxious, i.e. annoying, aka Peter Pans and the Lost Boys), the least I would expect is to be treated with respect (even if some girls/women don't mind being treated badly), not like chattles thru the turnstile or revolving door, but as ladies to be wooed and won thru old-fashioned good manners and courtesy (speak, and you'll be spoken to/for), if not gallantry and valiance (slaying the dragon and laying your cape down to cover the puddle would be nice).
I know that I should be grateful when Allah sends someone who offers security and comfort, but it'll be nice if he could restore my faith in male chivalry and courage. Don't we want it all? Ingrates, ingrates! Failing that, I just have to stop pontificating from my pulpit (or I'll be left on the shelf forever - scary scenario of total eclipse of the heart*) and put in my 20% share of 'work' la (Egotistical Lazy Bum!)
*(Actually, I had a bad dream of being attacked by an unidentified woman)
To strecth the self-indulgence to the max, here's my daily horoscope to share with whoever shares my birthdate/zodiac sign:
Friday, April 28:
Your instincts are flawless, so don't hesitate to follow up on a hunch or obey your gut when it comes to making a decision. It may seem wacky and wild to someone else, but you know that your choices make sense.
(Basic instinct wins - go home and shower, avoid danger)
Saturday, April 29:You and that certain someone can become even closer if you share your secret dream. They could actually have some innovative ideas and insight on how to make your fantasy become a reality.
(Reality - gotta accompany NYI to settle friend's accident case in BG)
Sunday, April 30:Face it -- you care a lot more about this person than you've been letting on. How can you figure out what to do next if you don't know what's going on now? The worst kinds of lies, after all, are the ones you tell yourself.
(Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies, no no no u can't disguise - while NYI treats me to facial at spa in MK)
Monday, May 1:If you don't love yourself, who will? If you don't respect yourself, why should anyone else? Think about ways to develop your personal power that don't rely on outside indicators. Your resources lie within.
(Yeah, right, and my bank balance is ... arrgh!)