Talk about being on an emotional roller-coaster! Yesterday, down in the pits, today all bright and cheery, raring to go! Ke Bulan, Ke Bintang Kejora, Ke Kaki Pelangi? (Fly Me to the Moon, to the Stars, Somewhere Over the Rainbow?)
Always, always have this lapse in response to "responses" (?). Just like a delayed response to "let go, move on", hence the cliched: "Sometimes, we are so fixated on a door that closed on us that we failed to register the one that's opened" (i.e. my version) Or fear of being like the "smart cookie" in the popular sitcom Cheers, whose delayed responses and bad timing always landed her in embarassing situations!
Yet, my heart is singing "I Can't Help Believing". Thank u so much for believing in me, even when I have lost faith in myself (low self-esteem and self-doubt being my two worst enemies). Inspite of the countless times that I have hurt u, caused u pain and, perhaps, "lost face" (?), u persevered, u never gave up, u tried so hard to tell me that "Talk is cheap, Action is priceless" but I would not listen; I held my ground - paralysed/immobilised in my comfort zone, stuck to my rigid conditioning, raving and ranting, kicking and screaming in my self-righteous high-ground - arguing, countering, rebutting til I'm exhausted, drained and depressed - then it dawned on me - that u're always there for me like a loyal shadow, following my erratic paths, sacrificing Life & Family (Family Life?), forever waiting in the wings ..... like a God-Sent Guardian Angel? Pls forgive me for my paranoia, my insenstivity, my stubbornness, my pettiness (gotta go hair salon, got old clothes/slippers on, etc). Keep praying for my Soul, my Strength, my Confidence, TQ.
It Will Be, If It's Meant to Be ... InsyaAllah
No comments:
Post a Comment