MEN ARE FROM ALCATRAZ, WOMEN ARE FROM ASHRAM (PART II)

I'm Not in Love
I'm not in love, so don't forget it.
It's just a silly phase I'm going through.
And just because I call you up,
Don't get me wrong,
don't think you've got it made.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...
I like to see you, but then again,
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me.
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...
I keep your picture upon the wall.
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there.
So don't you ask me to give it back.
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...
Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me.
Ooh, you'll wait a long time.
I'm not in love, I'm not in love...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Original_Soundtrack
A Naive Girl's Guide on how to spot a Guy is sooo NOT in LOVE with you:
1. You get silent phone calls, and when you look out your window, there's either a guy in a baseball/chauffer's/skull cap waiting in cars with plate nos DAD, NAP, BED, BEG, OIC, etc.; OR a lorry waiting at the end of your street at midnight; OR countless WIERD apparitions that never seem to go away after like TEN years?
2. You get phone calls, and he finally decides to speak, but mumbles something like, "Ini Desa Temenggong?" Huh? Sorry, is that a codeword for .....?
3. You get text messages from unfamiliar numbers that say something like, "Saya yang memuja dan merinduimu". Biar betul Mat ni!
4. You get this strange feeling that you're being surveilled, followed and accosted, but the guy expects YOU to get out of YOUR car while HE waits in his heavily tinted steed, like a Sissy!
5. You get your car bumped, your brother's and girlfriend's windshields broken, his name tag taken, your overnite bag stolen, your visitor's fence chainlock cut at 4am, etc.
(When manipulation doesn't work, why not try intimidation to win the lady's heart, ya?)
6. You get missed calls from mobile nos in China, or bizcards in Chinese, and whatdaheck that's supposed to mean?
7. You get text messages wishing you a Happy Deepavali??? from a strange mobile no. ....
I GIVE UP!!! Georgina Dass, please enrol him for Etiquette 101 before he drives me NUTS!!!
To be continued ...