Queen of Wishful Thinking

Chronic Chronicles:

Dear Digory,

What excuse do I have up my sleeve this time? That it’s that time of month that women just have to rush home, that I had forgotten to look for codes, that once again I had hoped that you would actually speak to me (such wishful thinking). So, we’re back to where we were before – ‘plus ca change, plus ca non change’ or ‘c’est la vie’ (my French is really, really rusty).

Much as I'd like to see myself being confident and bold, I couldn't take the risk of presenting myself at a man's turf when I know that there would be a lapse between 'reading' and 'response', and I would honestly rather die than be vulnerable. The reason I 'clicked' with HS who may not rich was because he showed up at my door and persevered. I wonder if lightning strikes you if you were to text msg or call or appear at my gate?

The ustaz had adviced not to give up – that hope springs eternal, and that’s the ‘raison d’etre’ in this transient world.

Au revoir,

Polly

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Works (forever) in Progress:

My visit to Clark - Subic Bay – Manila in September 2005 had got me all fired up (which quickly fizzled in the face of other tasks) to do research and write about ‘Raha Sulayman’ and the Malay kingdom there before Santiago (“the slayer of Moors”) led the Spaniards to colonize the group of islands that they later named the Philippines.

Phenomenal Women:

In relation to Nusantara nostalgia, I had started writing the outline and concept about ‘Malay Proto-feminists’ late last century – you know, ‘strong’ role models for modern young women, like Puteri Sa’adong, Che’ Siti Wan Kembang, Tun Fatimah, Puteri Gunung Ledang, etc. But, like most of my ‘grand plans’, they were shelved and ended up collecting dust or ‘hijacked’ (which wasn’t really that bad if the ‘hijackers’ actually did justice to it, but they usually did not). So, it was with mixed feelings when I found this title by DBP – 101 Puteri Nusantara – that listed all the female rulers, from Mindanao to Myan Mar, who were thought to be worth documented.

In any case, it is fascinating to learn that there are actually female monarchs who ruled Islamic Acheh, for instance, which should be suitable material for ‘made-for-television’ documentary like Rome, where strong female characters such as Atea (?) were among the main protagonists. I wonder what happened to the documentary on Melaka?

I’m a real sucker for epics – Alexander (Jolie’s Ambitious-Mother-from-Hell that drove Alexander to conquer the world and Roxanne), Troy (Kruger’s Helen and Bloom’s Paris may be wimps, but Pitt’s Achilles in micro-mini was definitely eye-candy), Arthur (I felt cheated by the absence of the Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot love triangle in the last version) and, of course, Kingdom of Heaven (Ah, to be able to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after).

And period pieces (Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, The Great Gatsby, etc.), but that’s a topic for another day.

Of Sufis and Saints:

Another interesting project would of course be on poems by RabiatulAdawiyah, partly because my late mother was named Rabiah (how her eyes would light up when she heard Jamal Abdillah sang Ghazal untuk Rabiah). A Chicken Soup for the Malaysian Woman’s Soul should be compiled from stories of ordinary women’s extraordinary lives. I am sure there are many more strong women who had raised, fed and educated their children in the face of all odds (no education, no well-paying job, no family or community support group like we have now). Who was the person who said, “every mother is a single mum”?

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Soul Provider - About Choices:

“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them”

– Khalil Gibran, Sand and Foam